The Empty Nest Syndrome
They take courage and begin to savor the much desired independence, take flight using the wings they have built little by little. One day the children leave and leave the family home, it is the law of life.
What is Empty Nest Syndrome?
Empty Nest Syndrome is an evolutionary phase that corresponds to a series of physical and emotional symptoms that occur when sons or daughters leave home. It is a general feeling of loneliness that parents or guardians can feel when one of their children decides to leave the family home. It does not matter whether it is a man or a woman, whether or not it has a job outside the home, or whether there are other reasons outside the family … When children decide to take flight, many fathers and mothers feel deeply sad.
The most frequent symptoms that usually arise are, as we have already said, feelings of sadness and loneliness , accompanied by a sense of emptiness, in some cases of uselessness or even feelings of guilt if the relationship was rather tense. Sometimes this can result in difficulty concentrating, fatigue or inability to feel happy, excessive worry. Of course it must be taken into account that relationships are not something universal, they largely depend on the personality and situation in which that particular person finds himself, as well as on the relationship he had established with those who left the house. Because of this, feelings and reactions can vary.
Even if for some parents it is a great satisfaction to reach the goal they had set themselves with their children and to see that they have built their lives thanks to their sacrifices, the situation still implies a change and an adaptation process that everyone must work out.. This moment, like many others that occur in the cycle of family life, is very important for all who are interested in it. It could also produce a crisis in the family balance, as daily activities will no longer be shared in the same way. For this reason, the family will have to reorganize and find new stability after the change.
Being able to let go
It is important to keep in mind that the relationship with the children is not ending, but that it will develop and be lived in a different way. Don’t forget that to be able to maintain a relationship, you must continue to nurture it.
To prevent or mitigate the possible symptoms, it is good to try to prepare gradually, giving more and more autonomy to the children, avoiding excessive control. You have to be there. but without it noticing, letting them go through life on their own.
It is also important to accept the situation, and build a new concept of life, considering the latter something dynamic that goes through different phases, as well as periods of crisis. Having children leave is a natural process. Their departure to build a new life therefore represents a new episode in our life, which at first may seem strange to us and make us feel empty and alone, but which will make us grow and go forward, and which will be a good time to fill the life of new expectations for the future.
Keep in mind that there are positives that are ending, but also many others that are about to begin, this is a good way to begin filling that inner void that we can feel. One phase ends, and another begins that presents a range of possibilities: our space increases, as does the time to do new things, the possibility of enhancing the life of the couple, etc. We need to be creative and find new challenges for our personal and married life, renewing our life plans.
Image courtesy of Inha Parakina
