Resilience, Success And Recognition: An Indispensable Circle

In other articles we have already talked about the role of resilience in our life. As we have told you, positive psychology defines resilience as the ability to adapt to difficult situations, to draw positive lessons from them, and to overcome them. But what is the relationship between resilience and success? And what does it matter how we react to our victories?

Dedication, merit, help and luck

People who have faith in themselves tend to perceive their successes as merits due in large part to their skills and dedication. They have no problem accepting outside help, and are willing to work together to achieve goals.

This recognition is of paramount importance if we are to get used to thinking more resiliently. When we admit that we have had merit in achieving a goal, we gain self-confidence and also see potential future goals as being more within our reach. Consequently, we feel more ready to face and manage possible mistakes and setbacks, because we are convinced that we will be able to overcome them and move forward.

On the contrary, when we become convinced that our successes are due only to luck, we lose faith in ourselves, because luck has to do with chance, not with commitment. Beyond the fact that a percentage of luck may intervene, the continuity of our successes comes from the belief in our ability to exploit certain situations to our advantage. If we can become aware of our successes, we will not be so vulnerable to mistakes.

Accept satisfaction

“When I finally get something I wanted, I feel happy, I enjoy it! “A patient once told me during therapy. Stopping and enjoying what we have achieved instead of immediately moving on to doing something else is much more useful and necessary than it may seem.

Exercise of reflection

Grab a pen and paper and write down three situations in which you have achieved significant success for you ; possibly they must be recent, from the last two years.

* Before starting those activities, did you have confidence in your ability to do them best?

* When you reached your goal, how did you explain your success to yourself?

* Reread your descriptions of these three situations: Is the way you explained them always the same?

* How did you react in each case?

* Does it seem to you that your reaction could be due to remembering how your parents or other important adults perceived success in your upbringing? This question should lead you to reflect on how the people who modeled you, and whose behavior could still influence you today, managed success.

Reinforce what makes us feel good

Carrying out activities that focus on our interests and strengths increases awareness of our successes. Furthermore, it will be good for your psycho-physical health and will increase our sense of responsibility and control over the goals to be achieved.

The resilient attitude is an invitation to have the courage, when necessary, to do even things we are not particularly good at, to be patient and persevere.

Many people report that they are often so focused on their fears and “inabilities” that they forget all the things that make them feel good. However, it is precisely when we are faced with complicated situations that it becomes necessary to maintain a certain balance, and find moments to dedicate to the activities that make us feel more capable, happy and satisfied when we achieve success.