Is It Okay To Keep Being Friends With Your Ex?

It is often said that it is not advisable, or convenient, to continue being friends with your ex, because there is a risk of relapse or of maintaining dynamics that we did not like, even if the type of relationship has changed.

Some professionals argue that the best and healthiest thing to do is to cut off relationships and start a life where there is no room for your ex. On the other hand, however, there are those who think differently and who argue that a person with whom we have had an affinity can still give us many positive things thanks to a different relationship.

Reasons why you shouldn’t be friends with your ex

If we have been in a toxic relationship, it is not advisable to continue being friends with your ex. It is a person who does not bring us anything positive, indeed, who makes us drown in a sea of ​​problems. A particularly serious case in toxic relationships is when one has been the victim of abuse.

On the other hand, we all know that, if a relationship is over, it does not mean that love, seen from a romantic point of view, has disappeared from the hearts of the two partners. If the feelings are shared, that is, they persist in both, the most normal thing is that the couple ends up reforming, unless it is circumstances like the ones we described above.

If, on the other hand, those feelings are no longer shared, the breakup is more complicated. Usually the person who still loves the other is torn between closeness and distance. Her feelings lead her to maintain closeness with her ex-partner, but the feeling of being the one left over invites her to move away. For this reason, these breakups often end the relationship permanently.

One of the best reasons to break up with an ex-partner is to avoid conflicts with a new one. If there is anyone who can make a person jealous, it is the ex-boyfriend of their current partner. Ex-boyfriends are seen by the new partner as a temptation, one of the weaknesses for which the new love could break.

For this reason, it is not uncommon for a new partner to be the cause of the final breakup of the relationship with your ex. A direct cause? Usually not, it is more normal that he does it indirectly: creating so many conflicts in the person until he can no longer bear them and end up definitively ending the previous relationship. Despite this, contrary to what it may seem, it is not a situation with no way out : mature people can accept the situation and fix it in a way that is neither the cause of conflict nor of breakdowns.

Is there a silver lining?

There can also be positives. A finished love does not necessarily mean a broken relationship. People who once loved each other always continue to love each other, even if in a different way. In other words, who is important usually does not stop being important, whether you decide to keep in touch or not.

An old partner knows us, knows what hurts us and what makes us happy. Perhaps love is over, but he knows how to read our gaze anyway and maintain a certain complicity with us, which is certainly not easy. There are beautiful relationships that take years to forget completely.

Why can’t they keep making us happy? Why can’t they keep improving our lives? At the moment, we do not know of a universal answer that suffices to answer these questions.

Ultimately, maintaining contact with an ex-partner is a personal decision that carries some risks and that can be the cause of conflict, but which can also be a source of great wealth and happiness, albeit in a different way than it is. it was a time. There is no rule, you have to act intelligently and make a decision considering some of the circumstances we talked about today and other typical characteristics of your relationship.

Cover image courtesy of Dragunsk Usf