I Took Off The Blindfold And Made A Bow

One way or another, we all end up doing it: taking off the blindfold and making a hair bow out of it. Because after all, this is how our face will really shine, our gaze free and ready to discover reality as it appears, without veils.

Ortega y Gasset once said that “love is like a kind of transient imbecility, a state of mental anguish and psychic origin” . It is possible that the famous philosopher, in an attempt to find an explanation for human affections, did not see much logic in falling in love and in the blindness that often traps us in what seems to be a great dream. Yet, even if you would not believe it, love has its own very specific logic.

Dr. Robert Einstein of Harvard University tells us that living part of our life with a blindfold, whether in our emotional relationships or other personal dynamics, is part of our psychological and emotional growth. Therefore, we must not regret this period, all the energy spent, the dreams made or the emotions felt. Doing so would mean denying a part of ourselves.

In reality, love is not blind, it sometimes sees more than it should: mirages and distorted images that often do not correspond to reality. Seeing life with the eyes of the heart, at times, leads us to make mistakes, yet it is also a normal phase of our learning. Something that we could never learn if we denied ourselves the possibility of loving, of trying and experimenting, of making those leaps into the void without a parachute where sometimes we land intact, sometimes not.

We propose that you reflect on this.

The blindfold, the one you dropped more than once

Sometimes we avoid it, but only for a moment. Instead of putting it away permanently in order to advance with our heads held high and with a proud look, we make the same mistakes as in the past; love blindly, trust the dark, grope, entrust our hearts to strangers. Why do we do it? Why do we sometimes fall back into what is the most difficult and painful love?

. After all, the world is not made to let us always and only meet “bad people”, as traffickers of selfishness and exploiters of the emotional balance. It is just a matter of having in mind what we need, so that we become more selective, more attentive and receptive. Because it’s only when you know what you want that you deserve it.

According to a study published by the UK’s National Bureau of Statistics, people say they find what they’ve always wanted when they are in their thirties and sometimes forties. It is an age in which one feels more self-confident and capable of integrating the experience of past relationships with the serenity of a present that lacks nothing.

You have to know how to wait for the moment when you are looking for something more than just falling in love or just passion. We look for love, self-realization together with a partner in a common project in which to invest with maturity and honesty.

Love with open eyes and protected heart

The most avant-garde biologists know it well: that emotional chaos that puts a blindfold on us, that traps us, that speeds up the beats of our pulse or leads us into labyrinths as dark as they are exciting, actually has a purpose: procreation.. From this point of view, our genes predispose us to procreation when we fall in love: mirror neurons connect instantly, installing real fireworks in our brain made of dopamine, testosterone, vasopressin, oxytocin and serotonin … dramatically increase the attraction.

Another aspect that neurologists invite us to consider is that passion puts some important processes on stand-by such as the feeling of discrimination, logical analysis and even judgment. Our mind takes the form of a “tunnel” to make us focus on what is important at that moment, the partner.

Veils: to love without, to fall in love with

Erich Fromm was convinced there were people predisposed to fall in love, people who enjoy that state of blind, sparkling and anesthetic love like a real Circe Island. Yet, when the stage of maturity arrives in which one has to work on the differences, accept the defects and set up a common project, they move away.

• As Fromm points out in his book “The art of loving”, authentic wisdom, true affective fullness does not lie in falling in love, but in love. Because when we fall in love, we enjoy that deep connection, that intimacy where recklessness and passion come together in one.

• All this, there is no doubt, is positive. But the real adventure comes later, with that artisan love that waits and listens, which is aware of the other person’s defects, of his imperfections, of his dark corners. The mature person has his eyes wide open and his heart protected: he sees things for what they are and decides to fight for them, to be a beacon of light in that love built together with the partner.

If you haven’t met such a person yet, don’t rush. Stop combing your sadness, tie your hair up and look at the world with the confidence of someone who, sooner or later, will get what he really deserves.