Does Receiving Compliments Make Us Uncomfortable?

Everyone likes to receive compliments. Yet on some occasions it can happen to feel uncomfortable, and this experience is more common than you imagine.

What exactly is meant by a compliment? To be precise, it is a specific verbal conduct that highlights the positive characteristics of a person. The compliment acts as a social reinforcer and makes our interactions more enjoyable. In other words, a compliment is a form of flattery.

When we receive a compliment, the person highlights some of our positive characteristics. Stated this way, there would be no reason to feel uncomfortable when someone compliments us. Yet, the reality is very different and this flattery makes us embarrassed, and also a lot. But why does receiving compliments  cause us this reaction?

Our senses regenerate

A compliment is, first and foremost, something pleasant and positive. Giving a compliment involves saying something nice to another person. It is about highlighting or pointing out some physical or character characteristics that we like or of which we have a good opinion.

Everyone likes to hear nice things about themselves, it feels good. However, in our society there is rarely a positive verbal exchange. We use little positive language, because “punitive” is more common.

Everything that is “good”, “positive”, “that we like and that flatters us” is attributed “to what it should be” and, therefore, why let others know? This is why it is rare to hear or give compliments.

We can feel “excluded”, “cloying”, “stupid”, “ridiculous”, and so on. However, if we believe that praise is better than punishment, we are motivated to change and become more rewarding and positive people.

On the other hand, when someone gives us a compliment, we can feel surprised, bewildered and, in extreme cases, it can even happen that we burst into laughter. This is why it is important to know how to receive compliments and not just to know how to do them.

What are the benefits of learning to receive compliments?

Receiving compliments is easy, although many people find it difficult to accept them. There are many benefits of knowing how to get compliments. Let’s see which ones:

• We know what the other person likes about us.
• Helps to establish friendly relationships.
• It reduces the tension that can arise from a moment of shame, anxiety or defense.
• It makes us feel good. Everyone likes that others recognize our qualities, our merits and our abilities.

• They indicate that we have listened to and accepted what the other person said.
• The relationship with this person is strengthened because we try to increase the chances of receiving a compliment in the future.

These are some of the benefits of knowing how to get a compliment. There are many more, but those listed are enough to get an idea of ​​their importance.

Negative thoughts that prevent us from accepting compliments

If we already know the benefits of being able to get compliments, why can we get stuck or uncomfortable if someone does? Perhaps behind the discomfort there is the following conviction: “If the devil caresses you, he wants the soul”. This belief leads us to interpret praise as a threat or danger. Hence, the reaction is one of distrust, fear, anxiety or distress. However, on many occasions there is not such a great danger, it is all about suggestion.

Sometimes these compliments are used to manipulate or create a favorable or stimulating climate that allows the other person to achieve their goals. This could cause a sentence that initially triggered positive emotions to be perceived as negative and generate negative emotional responses, if interpreted as a manipulation.

Another belief that can block us is the following: “be simple and modest, people who are conspicuous in the end are envied”. This message also keeps us from saying pleasant things about ourselves.

Another belief associated with the discomfort arising from receiving compliments is the following: “will be waiting for you to return the compliment.” This thinking is often irrational. Better to think that a compliment is spontaneous and wait to be reciprocated.

One last belief

A final thought associated with the discomfort felt when we are given a compliment is the following: “it’s a sarcastic compliment, he says it to make fun of me”. In this case, this belief can be replaced by: “it may be so, or it may not. I accept the compliment and, if sincere, I am flattered. If it isn’t, I’m partly disappointing his expectations ”.

We can change these beliefs, so we will take a step towards being able to receive compliments without feeling uncomfortable. Our relationships will be more sincere and satisfying.