We Haven’t Seen Each Other Too Proudly

Pride will make you feel strong, it will be the armor against your weaknesses and the banner of your triumphs. However, if you allow yourself to be guided too much by his hand, you will put some distance between you and those you love

Let’s start by clarifying an important point that you no doubt already know. Pride is a positive characteristic, we all need it to maintain the right level of self-love, to value ourselves as capable and deserving people.

Despite this, we can say almost without being mistaken that pride, in its darkest and most radical form, is that “cardinal sin” into which, at times , many of us fall.

We have all achieved something in life, we have all had our moments of glory, but this must not become a weapon or a reason to humiliate others, raising us as possessors of an absolute truth that elevates us above others.

We are sure that in your social and family nucleus, there is someone who walks wearing the armor of his proud and haughty pride, who pushes you away, who prevents you from approaching because you know that he never listens to your point of view, who does not values ​​your words and doesn’t even know what empathy is.

Today we reflect on pride to understand what lies behind these behaviors.

The complex mechanisms of pride

If there is a context in which pride is particularly harmful, it is that of couple relationships. We know that it is not always easy to harmonize “what is yours” and “what is mine” with “what is ours”, that it is not easy to make all the pieces fit together.

However, if there is an excess of self-love, it is then when frictions, problems and distance arise.

The greatest danger arises when pride reaches the sphere of pride. Far from being that positive characteristic that protects our self-love, it now sinks into a dimension where we witness the following behaviors:

• You don’t recognize your mistakes.
• There are no positive criticisms, only direct attacks.
• You show a high self-esteem, everything is projected towards your figure, towards your needs without taking into consideration the partner.
• Being proud means falling into excess, wanting to be admired, listened to and valued.
• It is common to go through moments of victimization if you don’t feel appreciated, or periods of great bullying.

1. What lies behind very proud or proud people?

While it may surprise you, underneath this fierce armor of self-sufficiency and perfection, there is a great deal of shortage. Low self-esteem  or remembering episodes that hurt them makes them react by raising their goals as a defense mechanism to hide weaknesses.

Pride is a simple armor and a veiled defense mechanism. If I sink into my impregnable, self-sufficient skin and with my center of absolute truth, I impose a power over others so that they cannot perceive my internal shortcomings.

In reality, however, they obviously exist, they are there, and that extreme pride poisoned by self-confidence and lack of empathy ends up driving everyone else away.

Eventually, they will fall into an unhealthy vicious cycle. Their internal voids are masked with pride, but pride brings them closer to loneliness, and loneliness leads to resentment, which continues to feed their bitterness.

2. Pride gives birth to more pride and prevents the arrival of all that is positive

It is very common to witness similar scenarios: if my partner acts proud, the most likely thing is that I, tired of fighting for him, end up acting the same way.

Eventually we will get the classic image of ” if your pride kills you, mine won’t let me go to your funeral “.

It is true that we often do this to protect ourselves, because it is very difficult to keep afloat in these situations where the emotional cost ends up being very high.

Little by little, in the life of those who lie sick with pride, the doors are closed and abysses of unease arise that divide them from those who are part of their daily life.

The only thing they will hear is how they feed their grudge. And there is nothing more destructive than someone who suffers from pride and is unable to see their wounds.

How to manage our pride in the right way

• Try to move into the healthy areas that pride offers on a personal level. It is the internal voice that values ​​you, that allows you to recognize the goals achieved and your virtues.
• Healthy pride is important for self-love, but always guide it with the reins of humility. It is important to be able to recognize one’s mistakes, one’s limitations.
• Pride must walk hand in hand with understanding, with acceptance of the other and, of course, with empathy.

And remember, never lose your dignity  when life presents us with situations where we are dealing with very proud personalities.