Self-destructive People: 7 Characteristics

In theory, we all seek happiness and live by chasing it. In practice, however, many human beings do not fit this pattern. Far from it. Without knowing why, they perform actions that harm them. In these cases we speak of self-destructive people.

A self-destructive person does not behave in a certain way because that is what he wants, usually he is sick, but who cannot exactly identify the origin of this condition. In response to this she develops various behaviors that damage her .

We all have a self-destructive side; however, some feed it into their personality. Self-destructive people often punish themselves for feelings of guilt related to non-existent or imaginary facts.

Below we present the seven main characteristics of a self-destructive person.

Main characteristics of self-destructive people

1. They react with sadness or irritation when they get something important

Although it sounds very strange, a self-destructive person feels a deep emptiness when they reach an important goal. He fought so hard to get there, but in the end he can’t feel satisfaction.

What he feels about his triumphs is a sense of sadness and sometimes anger. He almost always tries to downplay his results by  stating that it is absurd to be happy with such an insignificant thing. This is a clear sign that we are facing a self-destructive person.

2. They provoke others and then feel guilty

Self-destructive people are usually very confrontational. They don’t know why, but they can’t avoid their tendency to argue about everything. In extreme cases, if others say “yes”, they say “no”. If others say “white”, they say “black”.

During an argument it is not uncommon for them to engage in verbal aggression or use strong expressions. Once the storm passes, however, they feel terribly guilty for causing the dispute, but also for what they said or how they said it.

3. They do not acknowledge that they are well, even when they are well

For a self-destructive person, nothing is enough. His main difficulty is feeling satisfaction, particularly with respect to something he has created himself. It focuses more on the black dot than on the white sheet.

If, by any chance, he feels good and is pointed out to him, he will feel very uncomfortable. He will say that it is not true. She will even feel alarmed. He will find within himself reasons to stop feeling good and confirm his subjective position of discomfort.

4. They fail to meet the decisive commitments to achieve their goals

Self-destructive people boycott themselves, unconsciously, this is good to emphasize. That’s why they forget crucial appointments or fall asleep when they have an important task or forget their time.

It is as if it were imperative to avoid any form of well-being to which they have access. When they miss out on great opportunities, due to these apparent forgetfulness or distractions, they find in it a new reason to punish themselves.

5. They are inclined to sacrifice themselves for others

A self-destructive person seems to regularly forget about himself to improve the lives of others.

He renounces his well-being with relative ease to give it to another. She is able to run out of a penny to help someone or give him a very valuable item for her. After all,  he feels guilty of  something , usually an imaginary fact, and that excessive generosity is a way to punish and redeem himself.

6. They don’t react to abuse 

Self-destructive people don’t know how to defend themselves. In fact, they don’t feel they have the right to protect their interests. They have a very low opinion of themselves and for this reason they feel that it is not worth spending energy to avoid some harm.

One way or another, these people feel that others have a right to abuse them. Many of these self-destructive behaviors begin precisely with abuse at an early age, and consequently they view abuse as something “normal”.

7. Boycott relationships that are good

For a self-destructive person, it is very difficult to establish emotional bonds with others because they  are convinced that they are not worthy of love or attention. Sometimes, not even friendship. She feels this way because she doesn’t appreciate herself.

If she exceptionally manages to establish a good relationship with someone, she will feel very strange. Inside he will feel an inaudible voice saying that “something is wrong”. That’s why she becomes capricious, obsessive and even manipulative. Doing so damages healthy relationships.

Self-destructive people suffer a lot and make others suffer. Sometimes they are so intractable that they live in great solitude. Their growth possibilities are always very limited, therefore they require psychotherapeutic help.