Without You, I Don’t Exist

That’s all for you, you don’t conceive life without that person; with her you feel complete, while without it, you are nothing… or so you think. Your fixed thought is “Without you, I don’t exist”. Maybe you have felt this way sometimes, maybe you have experienced it or are experiencing it right now.

When your whole world revolves around the person you love, if that person abandons you, everything collapses. Suddenly, everything starts to lose meaning. You feel abandoned, vulnerable, alone. You don’t know what to do or how to behave. That person was everything and now you have nothing.

It is normal to feel this way; having shared time together, it may be that you feel empty for a while. However, is it really possible that your life and existence depend on this person? What’s this “Without you, I don’t exist” thing? We should think about whether it is an emotional addiction.

My happiness depended on you

The emptiness we talked about earlier can manifest itself on the death of a loved one. It can be a mother, a father, a brother or our partner, for example. It is something we have not been able to avoid. Circumstances took the life of that person who was everything to us. We will certainly need some time to assimilate and accept the emptiness we now feel.

However, what happens when a person is no longer by our side? What happens when our relationship ends, for example? In that case, if everything collapses and we can’t move forward, maybe we have become attached to someone more than we should have.

We can’t keep anyone by our side, just as we can’t expect every relationship to go for the best. However, what we really cannot accept is to stop existing, to take care of ourselves once that person is gone. You must always be considerate of yourself. Even if you are with someone, do not allow your life, your happiness and well-being to depend entirely on the other person.

You are totally off track if you think this represents true happiness. You have to be free, feel good about yourself. In this way, you can share your life with that of the other, but without giving them the power to decide their fate. Why do we suddenly give control of our life to the one we love?

Maybe you suffer from low self-esteem, maybe you are giving all of yourself … Maybe you are afraid of abandonment and you need to cling to this person as much as you can, looking for that security you lack.

Even if you are gone already, I will not let myself go

To free yourself from this addiction, you must take into account certain attitudes that prevent you from moving forward, blocking you if you do not have that person at your side, the center of your existence. To start, you need to take care of your self-esteem. Love yourself and give yourself the value you deserve. Do not place your life in anyone’s hands, as everyone has the power to decide their own direction. What else do you need to keep in mind?

• Don’t let your happiness focus on one person.
• Don’t put his wishes ahead of yours.
• If you feel good only when you feel loved, change! Something is not working as it should.
• Don’t accept being with someone you suffer with.
• Do not allow that person to be the center of your life.

These and many other attitudes are what make our happiness depend on others and not on ourselves, as it should be. Sometimes we confuse love and affection with necessity. This never leads to anything good and the relationship cannot be healthy. You have to be able to be at peace with yourself without needing anyone. Learn to be alone, learn not to depend on anyone.

Maybe you are afraid of being alone, but does it really help to be with someone? It may be that it gives you confidence and security, but the relationships you build will be destructive and not at all healthy.

Do not allow yourself the luxury of being unhappy in your life, because you have in your hands the possibility of being happy with yourself. Free yourself from any affection and meet again with your inner self. He who will never abandon you, who will always be with you. Without you, I can exist. Without you, I still be me.

Images courtesy of Mijail Khonch, Claudia Tremblay, Art Spheric