I Am My Home: I Listen And I Renew Myself

They are my home, so I open the windows to change the air, to let out the rancid and toxic wind and let in the breeze that smells of hope, of perfumed dreams. They are my home, they are my precious refuge, which is why sometimes I am not there for anyone, because I seek the protection of my privacy: my private corners to listen to me, to satisfy my needs, to heal myself …

If our inner world were actually a home, many of us would sadly keep it neglected. What’s more, there would be those who would have a well-decorated facade, with edged colored roofs, flashy fireplaces, sophisticated tiles and large windows with elegant curtains.

We are our own home, let’s face it,  we are our personal refuge and that exceptional structure that is constantly growing.  So let’s learn to take care of this magical space that is not for sale or rent, but which need to be protected.

The refuge you seek outside is within you

George Bernard Shaw used to say that life is not about finding oneself, but about creating oneself.  Those who choose to embark on a research journey with the aim of finding a purpose, discovering its limits and finding the essence of their personality, will be wrong in approach. Because everything he wants to know is not found outside, but in that internal scenery that produces wonderful fruit when we take care of it.

In turn, there is an undeniable fact that many will have perceived at times, especially during adolescence when one lives with doors open to the outside waiting to see what life gives us, what happens outside with its din, the its flavors, its sounds and its waves. Living disconnected from our heart, from that internal beacon in which values ​​and identity shine, we always have the feeling that something is missing, that what is in our home is an insufferable void that must be filled with anything.

Without realizing it, therefore, we let the first who arrives into the house of our own being, we give him the keys to the front door, we offer him the sofa in the living room and even the private key to our closet and our attic. We do it with naive innocence, without knowing that there are thieves who steal everything, merciless marauders who raze everything to the ground: self-esteem, strength, virtue, dreams and ambitions …   

Listen to yourself, respond to your needs: building yourself is not selfish

Having a home with spacious living rooms full of books that contain infinite knowledge is not an act of selfishness. Having a house in which there are no closed doors or cracks or corners inhabited by darkness and shadows is not an act of vanity. Enjoying a garden with incredible flowers, beautiful shrubs and trees with strong roots is not superficial. Getting each of these things takes time, will, and gentle self-care.

We live in a society that leads us to believe that love for oneself is an act of selfishness.  However, later on we are almost forced to read self-help books to discover that this premise isn’t true, that closing the doors of our home to what we don’t like or don’t want doesn’t mean we are narcissistic. It means being courageous, sharing self-love and honesty, consolidating a commitment with ourselves to guarantee our self-esteem and our well-being in a world used to modeling frustrated people, people who do not know how to be happy.

Albert Ellis had already said it in his day, our society often teaches us to hurt ourselves. We must, therefore, put aside everything that we have been made to believe so far to learn to think and feel emotions in a different way, to remember that there is a fragile and defenseless being who needs attention, care and recognition: ourselves.

Let us, therefore, make this journey back to our home to sweep away our limiting beliefs, to expand the waiting rooms, to open the curtains of internal conflicts, to repair the pipes of our emotional wounds. We sow our gardens with seeds of ambition and keep the house keys in our pockets, because they, only they, will open all the doors of our happiness …