Hysterophile: A False Prince Charming On Horseback
A hysterophile is defined as a person (usually male) who feels a strong attraction to hysterical women. The women to whom a hysterophile is attracted, among the many qualities, have two in particular that make them perfect in the eyes of the hysterophile: first of all, they are always handsome, seductive, but basically they are weak and defenseless. But behind this femme fatale appearance there is a complicated psychological structure.
Generally they are elegant men and maintain a very rigid posture, to appear more manly. The hysterophile man is attracted to weak and passive women, the kind of woman that allows him to show off all his virility.
Typically hysterophiles are seemingly very confident men who appear to have power. Initially it is difficult to notice in them weaknesses or missteps, they often boast of their personal successes or their conquests in the sentimental field. It is simply a way to emphasize their “value” for women to notice.
The beginnings of the relationship between a hysterophile and a hysteric
The hysterophile and the hysteric from a neurological point of view are one missing part of the other. He wants to be supportive for her, and she wants someone to help her. The hysterical woman feels like a princess waiting to be saved. The hysterophile, for his part, wants to be the knight-errant who comes to his aid. Or rather, this is what happens in the beginning. Over time, an unstable, changeable, but above all unhealthy relationship will develop.
Sooner or later (sooner rather than later) the consequences of what are the latent problems in this type of relationship come to the surface. The hysterophile mask falls off rather quickly. However, it is not his intention to deceive others, in fact even when he assumes those “forcibly virile” attitudes he does not do so consciously. He truly believes that he is (and indeed tries to impersonate him) the knight-errant sent to save his woman.
However, the self-confidence exhibited by hysterophiles takes little to wane. And here is where self-doubts begin. The insecurities. They no longer want to be the “strong ones” of the situation. They begin to notice their own frailty and need their woman’s protection. This is a pressing need that needs a quick response.
the reaction of the hysterical woman
The hysterical woman only wants a prince charming. The man she seduced is a man who shows no signs of weakness and who would never give up protecting and caring for her. Therefore, when the hysterophile mask begins to crumble, she does not accept it. He loses his admiration for this faded prince charming, that knight-errant who can no longer even bear the weight of his own armor.
The hysteric’s loss of admiration for her man soon turns into outright contempt. Then the man begins to feel ashamed because he is unable to embody the ideal of his woman. He feels he has no right to be fragile, but at the same time he seeks protection. In this way we enter a vicious circle in which both partners feel frustrated and suffer.
Over time, things get worse. The hysterical woman harbors a blind hatred, feels teased, deceived. She wants back that prince charming she had initially seen in her man and to do so she resorts to cruel and devious methods. He begins to publicly ridicule his partner, exposing all his weaknesses, is a way to get justice. The hysterophile meanwhile assumes the role of “martyr”.
When fantasies collide with reality
These neurotic relationships never have a happy ending. They generally end up being totally “crushed” by violence. The hysterophile’s dream is to be the ideal man for his woman. He really wants to, but he can’t because he is still a human being with his imperfections, dissatisfactions and needs.
As for hysterical women, they just want to find the ideal man. The hysterophile, at first seems to be the right one, in fact the problems start as soon as the woman realizes that in reality he is anything but a charming prince. This happens because the hysteric is unable to accept that she has chosen as a partner an imperfect man, with his weaknesses, and that the only ideal characteristics she possesses are the fantasies that she herself has projected on him.
The most likely thing is that the fantasies and ideals will be replaced by quarrels and violence, often reciprocal. How reciprocal is the alternation of the roles of victim and executioner. They both feel cheated and come to see their partner as the cause of their suffering. The occurrence of such situations is a symptom of a neurotic relationship.
