5 Verbal Assaults By The Partner That We May Not Notice
“Violence is the last refuge of the incapable”. So wise were the words of the famous writer Isaac Asimov. Unfortunately, many of these incapable ones have achieved a great ability to carry out almost imperceptible verbal attacks and, therefore, very dangerous.
If there is one area in which verbal aggression is particularly dangerous, it is undoubtedly that of love affairs. Sometimes love leads us to justify certain completely unjustifiable attitudes and words. However, it is also true that sometimes they are so subtle or common that you don’t even notice them. Let’s try to deepen the subject.
Barely perceptible verbal aggression
Deciphering the other person’s intentions in a relationship isn’t easy. Even if we feel very confident, there will always be the possibility of being wrong, as neither of us can firmly state what the other person thinks. In this way, there will be a lot of verbal aggression hidden in seemingly normal words and gestures. We explain some of them below.
Jokes about the family
It is not uncommon for a person to make fun of their partner by criticizing their family or origins. Especially when one of the two comes from a humble, rural place or his parents have little financial means. Nonetheless, the criticisms and complaints are not exclusive to this profile.
This type of aggression can be very offensive. Without any justification, a stigmatization could be created that can be used at convenience and that can arise during an argument, a social meeting or at rather inopportune moments.
Talk about attraction to other people
Talking about attraction to other people doesn’t necessarily have to be an attack. Yet when these observations are repeated over time, with the intent of undermining the self-esteem of one’s partner, they become an important verbal aggression.
Finding other people attractive is not a problem, but it becomes a problem if you talk about it all the time and if you compare your partner with the people in question. They could also develop complexes or a feeling of inferiority due to the treatment received.
Ridicule the other person
In many cases we make a verbal portrait of our partner in the form of humor and caricature. We often act as if we are able to read his mind, thinking we know him better than he / she can.
This behavior can repeat itself over time, thus becoming a mockery. Eventually, therefore, he hurts the partner and his self-esteem will be reduced to the point of confusing his true image with the caricature he created.
Emotional blackmail
Emotional blackmail is another verbal aggression that is often not perceived, but which generates great wounds through the sense of guilt. This form of communication is very subtle, since the person who exercises it makes the partner believe that they are the only one to make an effort to make the relationship go well and be fruitful.
All expressions of emotional blackmail are often aimed at emphasizing the effort made by the manipulator in order to make the relationship go well. In this way, the victim ends up believing that he is the cause of all the problems and that if it were not for his partner the relationship would be a real disaster.
The Gaslighting
Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse that takes its name from the title of a famous film. In this case, verbal aggression is carried out with the aim of making the partner doubt their mental abilities, their perception and memory.
Through lies and manipulations, a huge psychological malaise is fueled in the other person, increasing their insecurity and devaluation.
However, it is very difficult to notice this situation. For this reason, psychologists advise seeking a third opinion of someone unrelated to the couple. If you cannot detect this behavior, very serious problems could occur.
